Mutton's short story thread

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Re: Mutton's short story thread

Post by ChrisMuttonshutter » Wed May 06, 2020 2:47 am

.........fucking power cut .......
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Re: Mutton's short story thread

Post by ChrisMuttonshutter » Wed May 06, 2020 2:51 am

....... she looked on in horror as the lights flickered back on ....
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Re: Mutton's short story thread

Post by ChrisMuttonshutter » Thu May 07, 2020 6:47 am

He was bored during the lock down.
He decided to build a skylight in his apartment ceiling.
His neighbors upstairs weren't too pleased.
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Re: Mutton's short story thread

Post by ChrisMuttonshutter » Fri May 08, 2020 3:45 am

She needed it so badly, wanted to get her lips around it and lick the top of it ....... but some fucker had eaten it before she could..
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Re: Mutton's short story thread

Post by ChrisMuttonshutter » Sat May 09, 2020 3:49 am

The virus landed on a strange site, liked it and stayed.
The locals called it names but the fucker just laughed.
The locals moved home.
The virus followed and got bigger, they called it names but the fucker just laughed.
They isolated the virus, but the fucker just laughed.
Ban the virus they called out but the fucker just laughed.
Looks like the virus is here to stay.
The fucker is still laughing............
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Re: Mutton's short story thread

Post by ChrisMuttonshutter » Sun May 10, 2020 6:33 am

The snake had fed well and needed a place to sleep. It was warm under the bed covers and a musky smell attracted it ever onward.
With a bit of effort it slid it's way up Cathy's anus.
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Re: Mutton's short story thread

Post by ChrisMuttonshutter » Sun May 10, 2020 6:36 am

As cows go it was placid. He took off his shirt and shoved his fingers then his hand and eventually his whole arm up it's arse.
Another tick for his bucket list.
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Re: Mutton's short story thread

Post by ChrisMuttonshutter » Sun May 10, 2020 6:42 am

He'd tried just about everything with is girlfriend.
She was still sleeping. He slipped under the duvet. She was still sleeping.
He pushed his tongue up her arse.
That was when the snake bit him.



So ends my anus trilogy
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Re: Mutton's short story thread

Post by ChrisMuttonshutter » Sun May 10, 2020 9:20 am

The fat fucker loved tarts, tarts of all sizes, tarts of all colours, tarts of all flavours.
His mother was to blame.....
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Re: Mutton's short story thread

Post by ChrisMuttonshutter » Mon May 11, 2020 6:33 am

One clue left to solve in his daily cryptic crossword:
17 Across : Right Wing Conspirator say, sounds like he gets this every night.
He kept looking at the puzzle. 12 down was PissOff so it began with an F. 13 down was Durex so it ended with a D.
He had F_ _ _ _ _ _ D

He threw the crossword down and made himself another coffee ............
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