Just farted both my legs off

[Guest]

Has anyone got a wheelchair I can borrow?

[Guest]

FAT CUNT

[Sidney Kipper]

Has anyone got a wheelchair I can borrow?

No mate.

[Guest]

Has anyone got a wheelchair I can borrow?

No mate.

I love the female form but good lord do I never want to go down on a woman again. I’d rather suck a cock.

I am 37. Slept with 34 women. Amicably divorced. Kids. Never had a homosexual thought or any attraction to men. This post is NOT about me WANTING to give a guy head. This is about me NOT ever wanting to go down on a woman again, to the extent that I would rather suck a dick.

I don’t want this to be a male vs female post. It’s not about shaming women. Please don’t turn the tables and say “are you sure you’re not gay?”. I am not. It is just my unpopular opinion. i absolutely love women and their bodies. I just think vaginas are fucking disgusting. They feel great and look good from a certain angle but keep that shit away from my face.

I used to be fun and very giving in bed. Idk if I lucked out with the women I’ve been with in the past but the last few have ruined vagina-eating for me forever. Still love to fuck and use my hands, but above my shoulders I am done. I have retired my mouth.

Why? Here’s a few reasons:

It’s a fucking mucus pocket that discharges non stop. Yay discharge. Let me go down on you while there is discharge caked against your lips.
The amount of tiktok videos I have seen from women talking about the disgusting shit that comes out of their vagina has made me ill.
The last two women I was with had crotches that smelled like a bucket of dead fish. I am not trying to be insensitive with this. They likely had BV or something. It was god awful. I can take regular ass smell or vagina smell but not fucking dead fish man. I am scarred by this. I can’t even go to Target anymore without wondering if my cashier has a fish market between her legs. I hate that I even have to think this. I am considering legal action against my former partner(s) for ruining my Target trips.
Women have to head to the bathroom to freshen up before sex. Excuse me? You have to wipe away crusted up (or perhaps gooey) discharge? You have to remove bits of toilet paper trapped in your pussy lips? You have to wet wipe your crotch before feeding it to me? Bravo.
Vaginas are so complex you can make fucking yogurt in them. This is about as unappealing as it gets for me.
It looks like the Predators mouth when you’re down there. Fantastic, lemme get an autograph.
I have a beard. I do not want your sloppy slime embedded in my facial hair all evening
Even under the best circumstances pussy tastes like battery acid. Yum.
I have an unconfirmed suspicion that when a woman farts (depending on certain factors) that the fart can travel up and into her vagina hole.

Why I’d rather blow a dude (no cum swallow):

As a circumcised dick owner for nearly 4 decades my junk has only ever smelled like balls or possibly ass.
A dick is an external appendage. You do not have to ‘get up in it’ to get the job done. It’s probably like sucking on a big hot dog I’ll bet.
The amount of articles detailing how to care for your vagina is very disheartening. It is 2021 and women still haven’t figured out all the tricks. No one is writing articles about how to properly care for your cock. The cock is as set-it-and-forget-it as you can get.
It does not discharge
It does not bleed
You cannot make yogurt inside a dick
it most likely can never smell like dead fish without it becoming necrotic first