Mutton's short story thread

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Expand view Topic review: Mutton's short story thread

Re: Mutton's short story thread

by Guest » Sat Sep 19, 2020 10:57 pm

ChrisMuttonshutter wrote:
Sat Sep 19, 2020 12:10 pm
The wind was whistling through the land.
He sat and thought.
He'd conquered the place and rid it of all the fucktards. No fucker could touch him.
Alas the land was now barren and slowly, very slowly lowlife were slinking in, polluting what couldn't be polluted.
He stepped out and surveyed what was his .....it held no challenges anymore .......the place now bored him ....

He'd made the decision ages ago but now was the time. He walked forward towards the abyss....
New challenges and lands awaited his presence .....
He stepped into the unknown ready to make his mark elsewhere and he was gone ......................
Tell them my story he thought .....

The End
:hang: NIGGER

Re: Mutton's short story thread

by Guest » Sat Sep 19, 2020 9:51 pm

Piss off before you get a thick ear and a fat lip :yank:

Re: Mutton's short story thread

by ChrisMuttonshutter » Sat Sep 19, 2020 12:10 pm

The wind was whistling through the land.
He sat and thought.
He'd conquered the place and rid it of all the fucktards. No fucker could touch him.
Alas the land was now barren and slowly, very slowly lowlife were slinking in, polluting what couldn't be polluted.
He stepped out and surveyed what was his .....it held no challenges anymore .......the place now bored him ....

He'd made the decision ages ago but now was the time. He walked forward towards the abyss....
New challenges and lands awaited his presence .....
He stepped into the unknown ready to make his mark elsewhere and he was gone ......................
Tell them my story he thought .....

The End

Re: Mutton's short story thread

by ChrisMuttonshutter » Sat Jul 18, 2020 6:41 am

She gasped and grabbed the headboard.
"It wants to be a bit higher "
"Fucking hell I'm doing my best" he replied.
He plunged deeper.
"I'll get this curtain rail up if it kills me" he said as the drill bit broke......

Re: Mutton's short story thread

by ChrisMuttonshutter » Thu Jul 09, 2020 11:37 am

He bought her some flowers. The first for ages.
" They're lovely " she cooed "does this mean I'll have to open my legs tonight "
" No put them in a vase like every fucker else does " came the reply.


for all you romantics out there

Re: Mutton's short story thread

by ChrisMuttonshutter » Mon Jul 06, 2020 12:28 pm

He hadn't had a shit for six months so he approached the toilet with great trepidation. He really had to go this time.
He sat down and strained and pushed and he felt a small movement ......
....his arse split open, then wider and wider. It was like the dead sea opening. Out it all came together with all his intestines and guts.
He bled to death, never getting to wipe his arse for a last time.

Re: Mutton's short story thread

by ChrisMuttonshutter » Mon Jul 06, 2020 12:18 pm

Good try but it needs some work.....

Re: Mutton's turd story thread

by Guest » Sun Jul 05, 2020 7:30 pm

I took a poo. Then wiped my bottom.

The end.

Re: Mutton's short story thread

by ChrisMuttonshutter » Sun Jul 05, 2020 4:41 am

He had always wanted to catch a bullet in his mouth. It was his sixth attempt. He pointed the rifle upwards and fired. His mouth was agape as he waited for the bullet's downwards trajectory.
No fucking luck again. He had no idea where the bullet had gone.
"Fuck this, next time I'll try one of my knives" he thought as he walked back to his trailer home.....

Re: Mutton's short story thread

by ChrisMuttonshutter » Fri Jul 03, 2020 2:54 am

He'd spent twenty years and plenty of tears growing, grafting and perfecting his techniques. He wept for it all had come to fruition. Yes at last.
He'd grown an orange on a banana tree and a banana on an orange tree.
The orange on the banana tree looked and tasted like a banana.
The banana on the orange tree looked and tasted like an orange.
He was a fucking genius.
He waited for the world to come to his door ........

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